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The BC Association of Counsellors of Abusive Men

Counselling Abusive Men is a Specialty

Counselling men to stop physical and psychological abuse of women in relationships is a new field, one which has emerged from the growing social awareness of violence against women in the last two decades. Our field is a hybrid, of which one strain is informed by principles of psychology and the other by feminist consciousness. Counselling men who are abusive in relationships is a specialist field, with specific practice principles, and a unique set of skills and knowledge.

Guiding Principles for counsellors

Those of us who first bean to provide programs for abusive men felt we were pioneers opening up new intellectual territory, and we eagerly banded together to share what we were learning and to support one another.

Out of this informal network, the BC Association of Counsellors of Abusive Men (ACAM) emerged as a professional association. Membership is open to those who work directly with men to stop abuse of women, and who are willing to practice according to the "Guiding Principles for Services in British Columbia". These principles are part of "Wife Assault Intervention Programs for Men", a package of information developed in cooperation with ministries of the provincial government and women's programs. It is important to us to have practice principles developed by those who actually do the work, rather than have standards imposed by others.

The principle which most clearly differentiates between wife assault programs and general counselling of men is that of giving highest priority to the safety of women and children. In practice, this means that client confidentiality is limited by the need to provide information to women partners. It means that we are willing to look at the man's problem through the eyes of the woman who has been the target of his abusive behaviour. It means that we hold the abuser responsible for the abuse and are not willing to accept explanation which mutualize or rationalize abuse in the context of relationship dynamics or personal history.

What We Are Not

Counsellors in this field take care to distinguish between programs for abusive men and "anger management". Anger management is seen as a necessary but not sufficient component of counselling for abusive men. The mean who uses force, threats and intimidation to control his partner may or may not be angry, but anger is not the basic problem. His attitudes toward women and relationships set up a dynamic of inequality and unrealistic expectations in which he gives himself permission to be angry in quite irrational circumstances.

Counsellors of abusive men have learned that the client's view of his circumstances is often skewed by his own sense of victimization and denial of responsibility. Counsellors must be careful no to be co-opted by the man's point of view, and to help him to understand the effect of his behaviour on others. Although good programs for abusive men provide support for men, they are not "men's support group".

Spouse assault programs for men are also not couple counselling, although many men's programs provide a support and education component for women partners, and some provide or recommend couple and family counselling after physical abuse has stopped an the woman is no longer afraid. As noted in the Guiding Principles, conjoint counselling as first intervention can be unsafe for the woman and another opportunity to manipulate for the man.

Becoming a Counsellor of Abusive Men

How can counsellors prepare themselves to work in this specialty area, according to accepted guidelines for practice? And how can they keep learning and refining their practice with abusive men?

In most cases, men and women with expertise in counselling learn about relationship violence as interns in existing programs for men who are abusive in relationships. Programs are increasingly used by universities as student practicum placements. Agencies often seek internships for their staff in order to increase knowledge and expertise in family violence.

Within some programs, such as the Victoria Family Violence Program, men and women who know relationship violence from their own experience, and have learned about recovery as clients in the program, are trained as leaders. These lay counsellors reverse the usual learning pattern by having specialist knowledge about violence and abuse developing expertise in counselling.

Cultural Sensitivity

Similarly, counsellors who already have specific expertise in counselling different cultural groups still require special training in programs for abusive men, often gained through internship.

ACAM members whose background and experience has been with First Nations and Indo-Canadians have taught us that although language and cultural knowledge are powerful tools, cultural competence is not sufficient without specialist training for effective work with abusive men. It would be dangerous to assume that a counsellor is competent to work with an abuser just because the counsellor and client share the same language and cultural background, if the counsellor has not developed expertise in the field of relationship violence. Effective programs have the basic core content and principles of abusive men's programs, together with special sensitivity to cultural issues.

ACAM Fall Conference

Regardless of how counsellors enter the field, there is a need for on-going support and mutual learning. The BC Association of Counsellors of Abusive Men addresses this need through an annual Fall Conference. The Fall Conference provides an opportunity for BC practitioners to share their expertise and to discuss areas of interest.

This year the conference will be held in Vancouver on November 15 and 16th, and will be open to counsellors of abusive men, administrators and funders of programs for abusive men, and other professionals who work with abusive men in the criminal justice system, addictions treatment, and other health and social services.

Alayne Hamilton, MSW
Victoria Family Violence Project

Information and registration for the 1996 Fall Conference, the book "ACAM Fall Conference Proceedings 1995", and ACAM membership information, are available by contacting the Family Violence Project at (205) 380-1955 or fax (205) 385-1955.