|
BCIFV home
> Newsletter > 1999
Archives > Winter 1999 articles
Conversations On Aging
an interview with Jill Hightower and friends
Aging in our society is often protrayed as a predominantly
negative experience. We know that societal values are shaped
in part by the images that advertisers and entertainment producers
promote in the media. They deal in stereotypes that support
the products, services and values they sell. In overall terms,
the media sells youth. So many products are advertised as
making you look and feel younger. Specific product marketing
directed to older persons seems to support a stereotypical
view that older persons are rigid, forgetful and generally
ornery. They are destined to suffer from a myriad of problems
including incontinence. A recent advertisement on television
that promotes the use of disposable underwear for incontinence
implies that this problem is an expected natural part of aging,
which it is not. Nevertheless, this type of promotion can
be harmful if it discourages older adults from seeking help
if they experience such a problem.
Over the past few months I have had a series of conversations
with a group of older adults residing on the Sunshine Coast
of BC - four older women: Ann, Daphne, Sue and Julia, and
four older men: Henry, Alan, Terry, and Fred. Our conversations
have touched on such issues as age, community attitudes, activities,
future planning, security and vulnerability. Before retirement,
group members were employed as teachers, nurses, carpenters,
and full-time homemakers. Their ages range from 59 to 72,
and their interests and activities are as varied as any other
adult member's in our society. They are all in relatively
good health, though two individuals were recently diagnosed
with diabetes. Some of our conversations occurred on an individual
basis and some took place in a group setting.
Jill- Do you think much about your age?
Ann- You know, I really don't think very much about my age
until I look into the mirror. Then I see my face, my hair
and wrinkles and it is quite a shock. You see, I don't feel
any different inside to what I felt when I was forty. I do
remember being bothered about getting to be thirty. Physically,
I'm aware that my body does not work quite as well. But, at
times I realize that I am seen by others as an older person.
It is really strange being labeled and categorized as old.
I guess this really hits me when I am out shopping and doing
other things in the community. In some situations, that comes
as a shock.
Jill- I understand what you are saying. For me, when I
look in the mirror, I feel as if I'm looking at my Mother
when she was about sixty. I often have the same experience
and feelings you do in the community.
Alan- There are times when I do feel some stress related
to my age. Like Ann, however,I don't feel different mentally.
I'm not really sure what you are supposed to feel like when
you are over sixty. It seems that we all carry with us a picture
of what an older person is supposed to look like and behave.
I think that regardless of age, we are all different. I'm
able to do most of the things that I enjoy and find I have
more time now to enjoy my computer and garden. I do worry
somewhat about finances. My pension is limited and I do have
to watch my expenditures carefully.
Terry- I'm really enjoying my life at this time. I don't
think about age. I'm healthy. I have only recently stopped
full-time work, so I am enjoying the opportunity of setting
my own schedule. What I have noticed is that the age at which
one is designated as a senior seems to be changing: it was
sixty-five. In the last few years as organizations have down-sized
and laid off or "out placed" their older workers,
fifty-five has replaced sixty-five as the age when one becomes
a senior.
Jill-What do you think of the way that older people are
portrayed in newspapers, television and novels?
Daphne- It is sometimes a shock to hear a character in a
book described as an old woman and then find out the age of
the character is 60. I'm sixty and don't consider myself old.
There seems to be a mental image that we all have of older
adults. It's really not a realistic picture of most of us.
Seeing ourselves portrayed in a negative way in print or on
the screen can certainly have an effect on your self-esteem.
Aging does not necessarily mean having a physical disability.
People of all ages have disabilities of one sort and another,
and yet that is major part of the image of a senior. There
is more to a person than his or her physical appearance, yet
we don't seem to be able to get past this. It would be wonderful
to see on the screen a woman over 65 playing a positive main
character in a television production.
Henry- One of the only decent advertisements I have seen
recently is the one for a mutual fund where they use an older
man in a sketch talking of his retirement job of acting in
commercials. I'm a little tired of the advertisements for
disposable underwear and denture cleaners.
Jill: What do you do with your time?
Julia- You kno, it's really strange but there really does
not seem to be enough time during the day to do all the things
I want to do. When I can, I volunteer at the library, and
I help transport really older adults to doctor and hospital
appointments. I'm thinking of volunteering at the SPCA. I'm
on the Board of Directors of some non-profit societies. Then,
of course there is always gardening and housework, children
and grandchildren.
Henry- I spend considerable time on my computer and I've
been taking navigating courses. I'm a member of several community
committees working on issues of community planning, waste
disposal and other environmental issues. I've been doing projects
that are new and different like home renovations. I walk for
exercise and work on my boat.
Ann- It is not that long since I stopped working. I'm finding
it very difficult to do spontaneous things. I keep planning
activities for the weekend. Then every so often, I realize
I can plan activities for any day of the week. I think I really
miss the routine of my work week and the satisfaction that
I got from my work.
Jill- How did you feel during the recent debate surrounding
our aging population and the proposed changes to CPP and old
age pension?
Alan- I felt angry, hurt and a sense of personal betrayal
during that public debate. Seniors seemed to be seen as a
burden on society. I have worked hard all my life and contributed
to the development of Canadian society. The tone of the discussion,
which at times seemed to pit older members of society against
younger members, frightened me. I really felt very vulnerable.
Sue- As a woman, I was really concerned. I know many women
who have been full-time homemakers who are dependent entirely
on their husbands' pensions. I remember reading that out of
the one fifth of elderly Canadians who lived in situations
of poverty back in 1986, about 70 percent of them were women.
This has not changed, but the public debate seemed to imply
that all older people in Canada were draining the resources
for younger Canadians.
Jill: Some of the key issues related to aging that we
have to face will involve our increased dependency on others
for help in our daily living. Have you made any plans for
what you would like to happen should you be unable to manage
any more in your own home? Have you thought about what help
you might get from your family?
Daphne- I have started to think that my husband must sit
down with our children and talk about our future care. It
does seem a long way away, but I guess it really is not. For
myself, I think it is really important that I stay in control
of my life for as long as possible. I guess I think that is
important for everyone. It is unfair to our children not to
talk with them and start them thinking about the time that
we may need their help and support in the future. Logically,
I know this is best done while you are fit and healthy. Emotionally,
it is hard to face. But it is something that we will start
working on during the coming year.
Sue- The more I read about issues of abuse and neglect of
seniors, the more I realize how important it is to think ahead
and try to make provisions for future care. However, it is
easier said than done. Taking this step really brings to you
face very clearly your own mortality. I'm not sure that I
am ready yet.
Fred- I keep reading about the need to plan ahead. I know
it is important to have an up-to-date will, a power of attorney
document, and try and plan for the other realities of aging.
I've noticed that I'm reading the obituaries, so I guess I'm
starting to think about it.
Jill- What do you feel to be your major concerns or fears
right now and for the future?
Terry- My overall concerns are financial. The current financial
market is difficult for those of us on fixed incomes. As I
listen to the news and hear about home invasions in Vancouver,
I'm thankful that I'm not living there. I know these things
happen elsewhere, so I worry a little about my wife and my
safety at home in the future.
Ann- At times I feel patronized and ignored. I find myself
more likely to accept rudeness and discourtesy in stores and
in the community now that I am older. I think I'm afraid of
f being considered a nuisance and a miserable old woman..
I worry about some of the attitudes out there toward us seniors,
and I worry about break-ins and crime.
Daphne- I worry about the future for my children and grandchildren.
The work world is changing so rapidly that future employment
in Canada seems so fragile. We seem to be moving into a society
with great division between "the haves" and "have
nots" Our safety net that we relied on in the past is
slowly leaving us. On a personal level, I am concerned that
all these difficulties will increase negative feelings and
attitudes to us older folks.
Jill -What are some of the positive aspects of aging and
retirement that you are experiencing?
Fred- Family, friends and the opportunity I have to make
a contribution to my community through volunteer activities.
Some of the discounts that are offered to seniors by stores,
etc. They really help when you are on a fixed income. There
are several strong seniors' advocacy organizations that seem
to be working on behalf of seniors I (now) have the time to
join and get involved (with).
Julie- More time to spend with my husband, children, grandchildren
and old and new friends. Being able to volunteer to help in
areas that I think are important. Being able to spend more
time on taking care of health. Not feeling guilty when I sit
and spend time reading a book.
This is just a small excerpt from our discussions that addressed
a variety of issues. What was most evident in our conversations
was that the way we feel about growing older is governed by
a number of factors: our sense of self-esteem, financial stability,
family situations and health, for example. We all agreed that
societal fixation on youthfulness hurts the image of older
persons. Several times we talked of the stereotype of older
persons in society. We acknowledged the fact that in our younger
days, we did not challenge or even think about this view of
older adults. We all recognize that some of us will experience
difficulties as we age further, such as arthritis, diabetes
and memory loss but we know they are not inevitable.
Such drawbacks nothwithstanding, aging can bring many opportunities
for achievement and reward. Those individuals who talked with
me are fortunate to be financially able to live a moderately
comfortable life. Some of the women that I talked with were
very aware of their financial vulnerability, for their security
was tied solely to their husbands' pensions. Each person I
talked with was very aware of other seniors who are not so
lucky. There is a need to advocate for those marginalized
persons who live in often miserable and unsafe surroundings.
My special thanks to those friends who gave their time to
talk with me, and who chose to remain anonymous. I value their
knowledge, wisdom and experience.
Jill Hightower
|
